He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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