butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
