I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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