Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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