worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
