Clothes are such an inconvenience.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
