Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
