i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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