Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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