my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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