we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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