You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
