I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
