whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Even my vagina gasped.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
