The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
