I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
