i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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