no, he came in my armpit
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
