And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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