: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
