My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
