We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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