Do you still have your period?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
