Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
