Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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