i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
