This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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