thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
