The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
