I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
