I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The power of my boobs compel you
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
