just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
