Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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