Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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