Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
