So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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