you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize
