Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
