I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
