No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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