So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
