The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
