just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Randomize
