I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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