I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
