Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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