You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
