is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
