Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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