I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
