i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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