Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
