Buhtt sex?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
