Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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